Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize