Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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