Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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