woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
