i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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