someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
