You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
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I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
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i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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