It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
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He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
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So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I need to calm my uterus...
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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