My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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