haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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