Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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