$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
