The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
