how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
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It's never too late to be topless.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
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I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
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