i jhust puked up my retainher.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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