What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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