You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I wish I only lived at night.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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