Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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