if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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