the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
