shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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