Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Randomize
