Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(416): View more from Ontario

I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them

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(763): View more from Minnesota

I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.

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(718): View more from New York

he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty

(917): View more from New York City

smooth operator

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(315): View more from New York

Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.

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(716): View more from New York

I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.

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(408): View more from California

I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.

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(602): View more from Arizona

His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity

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