Are we in a gay sports bar?
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum