also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo