Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test

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(248): View more from Michigan

she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.

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(770): View more from Georgia

his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning

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(563): View more from Iowa

please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.

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Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Read it at the TFLN blog
(205): View more from Alabama

It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.

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(289): View more from Ontario

Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working

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(512): View more from Texas

So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control

(737): View more from Texas

we are the apple cider girls!

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(312): View more from Illinois

Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.

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