Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
this will be a night to untag.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
