I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
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Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
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I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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