I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Randomize
