I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
