he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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