sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
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yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
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if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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