I never want to see another naked old woman again.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
