Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
