Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
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Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
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Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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