it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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