I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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