My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
