This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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