No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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