so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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