I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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