She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I just want to make out with him forever
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
