i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize