WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
