I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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