so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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