it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
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I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
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