If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
