It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Someone came in the potted fern
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I think I just sharted jello shots
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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