hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
