You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
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I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
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I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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