just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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