do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
