benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Alive.
So much puke
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
