walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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