WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Michael Bay diarrhea
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
