Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize