You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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