fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
