We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
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i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
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You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize