A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize